The well-known golden rule of life, as espoused by the Good Book (the Bible), and agreed by most religions of the world is “Love your neighbor as yourself”. Familiar and easy as it sounds, experience tells us otherwise. Perhaps this is one of the most difficult and most-frequently-broken rules in life.
Most of us readily admit that we do not love our neighbours as ourselves, not because we have different political views or religious affiliations. We just don’t see the need to love others, and we just don’t have the will either; and we don’t expect our neighbours to do any better than us.
In our contemporary society, physical proximity does not necessarily bring emotional intimacy as evidenced by the fact that the closer the houses stand to each other in the neighbourhood, the wider seems the mental gap between their occupants! We are all immersed in our own busyness, minding our own business, having no time or interest for anything outside of our own small world. If we somehow happen to accidentally bump on each other somewhere, we may mumble a short and hollow ‘hello’ to each other, even that without much emotional flavor.
Why is it so hard to love our neighbours? The answer may lie closer than you think! The reason why we do not love our neighbours is this: WE DO NOT LOVE OURSELVES! Strange, isn’t it? Let me explain:
Since early childhood, our parents tell us to be like someone, like that kid in the next block. We were told that we were not good enough, at least not as good as “Johny” or “Jane”. The hero in the romantic novel is usually ‘tall, dark and handsome’, and you know you are not at all like him! The girl in the movie is fair and beautiful, and you think that you will never measure up to her. Therefore, we grew up in an environment where we are continually bombarded by messages from various media that in order to be someone significant, you have to be either rich, handsome, tall, beautiful or possess a myriad of other attributes and qualifications. An unwritten idealized standard is set for all spheres of life to which everyone measure themselves against, and somehow try to achieve that level of being and living. Having realized that we are among the so called ‘ordinary’ people who made up about 90% of the population who would never quite reach the idealized standard, we become disilllusioned on ourselves, looking down upon ourselves and wishing to be somebody else! We could not accept ourselves, not to speak of LOVING ourselves! We silently curse our parents or forefathers not only for being poor, ugly or short-statured but also for transferring those unwanted genes down to us new generations! As a result, when we see others (our neighbours) like us(they are everywhere, being the majority, remember?)we do not accept them! To love them is out of the question!!
Now, it becomes very obvious that our failure to love our neighbours directly results from our failure to love ourselves! In stead of “loving our neighbours as ourselves’, we seem to be “hating our neighbours as we hate ourselves”! It’s true!! Just test yourself!
Therefore, if you truly want to love others, love yourself first! It is not a selfish kind of love, but rather accepting-who-you-are kind of love! Stop trying to be someone else or act like somebody else. Just be happy to be YOU! Accept yourself, and love yourself! Then you will discover that to love your neighbour as yourself is not that hard after all!
29 November, 2009
My Journey
My spiritual journey started in 1981. Since then I have crossed many mountains and valleys along the way. On a number of times I have tasted the fragrance of heaven, and had faint glimpses of eternal beauty and glory; and at other times I had been to the valley of despair and failure, worry and hopelessness. But all through this journey, I have an amazingly wonderful Friend and Guide who had been with me all the time. Even with all the valleys, it had been a journey of joy because of this special Friend!
The one thing that amazes me most about this Friend is His love and patience! I could not count how many times I have stumbled and fell, hurting myself and others in the process. This amazing Friend is always there to lift me up again, and He never give up on me! He is so patient, so loving and so understanding! Without Him I would have never made this far. Sometimes, in my foolishness I have hurt Him knowingly and deliberately… oh, I could see the pain in His eyes, the unshed tears He was holding back….but even in the midst of all these He never lose patience, and the light of love in His face never dimmed! With outstretched arms and gentle smile, He would softly whisper in my ears, “Please, come back, son…you are so precious to me”.
With such a wonderful and faithful Friend by my side, I am ever moving forward in my journey, though often at a slow pace. This Friend is my Teacher too, and He has taught me so many wonderful things as we walk side by side on this journey. He has taught me the value of simple things, and the greatness of small things and the beauty of things unseen! He has taught me the value of friendship, family and life. He has taught me how to appreciate things without possessing them, to be rich without owning material things. He has taught me too how to love and let go, and has taught me the beauty of tears! He has also taught me how to find peace in the midst of a storm, and how to find quietness in the midst of a noisy crowd!
He taught me how to appreciate honesty, and the freedom of a clean heart! He taught me how to accept and laugh at myself . He taught me the secret of a happy heart… to make others happy; and the foundation of a joyful heart is a pure conscience!
I have yet to learn many more things along this journey, and I may yet fail Him many times along the way. But one thing I know: HE IS GOING TO BE WITH ME ALL THE WAY, and that means a journey of joy all the way! And by the time I reach the end of this journey, I will be ready to step in to my home country….oh, what a joy! What a blessed hope!
The one thing that amazes me most about this Friend is His love and patience! I could not count how many times I have stumbled and fell, hurting myself and others in the process. This amazing Friend is always there to lift me up again, and He never give up on me! He is so patient, so loving and so understanding! Without Him I would have never made this far. Sometimes, in my foolishness I have hurt Him knowingly and deliberately… oh, I could see the pain in His eyes, the unshed tears He was holding back….but even in the midst of all these He never lose patience, and the light of love in His face never dimmed! With outstretched arms and gentle smile, He would softly whisper in my ears, “Please, come back, son…you are so precious to me”.
With such a wonderful and faithful Friend by my side, I am ever moving forward in my journey, though often at a slow pace. This Friend is my Teacher too, and He has taught me so many wonderful things as we walk side by side on this journey. He has taught me the value of simple things, and the greatness of small things and the beauty of things unseen! He has taught me the value of friendship, family and life. He has taught me how to appreciate things without possessing them, to be rich without owning material things. He has taught me too how to love and let go, and has taught me the beauty of tears! He has also taught me how to find peace in the midst of a storm, and how to find quietness in the midst of a noisy crowd!
He taught me how to appreciate honesty, and the freedom of a clean heart! He taught me how to accept and laugh at myself . He taught me the secret of a happy heart… to make others happy; and the foundation of a joyful heart is a pure conscience!
I have yet to learn many more things along this journey, and I may yet fail Him many times along the way. But one thing I know: HE IS GOING TO BE WITH ME ALL THE WAY, and that means a journey of joy all the way! And by the time I reach the end of this journey, I will be ready to step in to my home country….oh, what a joy! What a blessed hope!
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